My daughter Mia graduated from college this weekend.

It’s absolutely surreal to type these words because it feels like she was 5 just yesterday (if you’re a parent, you get it.)

It was a very special and very rainy weekend of celebrating this huge milestone together.

And what made it even more special is that my husband Avi and I met at Wesleyan 31 years ago (this feels as surreal to write, because to be honest, I don’t feel 31 years older than when we were there.)

One of the best moments from the graduation was standing with Avi on folding chairs, in pouring rain, holding up a sign we made that said “We love you Mia!” and screaming at the top of our lungs when Mia accepted her diploma.

Note to self: Marry someone who will stand with you in pouring rain on folding chairs, holding a giant sign and screaming loudly with love.

Before we drove down, I recorded a voice note for Mia with a few things I want her to carry in her heart as she steps into this next chapter of her life.

Kind of like my graduation speech for her, the mama version.

And after I finished recording, I kept thinking that what I shared with her is relevant for anyone going through a life transition or beginning a new chapter.

Actually, I'd love every human in the world to hear this.

So I'm sharing them with you.

5 Life Reminders for a New Chapter

Aka my graduation speech for my daughter

#1: Forget about trying to feel confident.

You cannot feel confident doing something you have never done before, and that’s what you’ll be doing for most of your life.

Instead, focus on developing self-trust.

Learn to trust yourself to figure it out, no matter what happens.

And when you lose touch with that self-trust, look back at your life and at all those times when something didn’t go how you wanted, and you figured it out anyway, and moved forward, and grew from it.

That’s the evidence for why you can trust yourself. It’s already within you.

#2: Dare to tell yourself the truth about what’s pulling at you, and then take small steps towards it.

A great life is not built on “shoulds”. It’s built on the courage to tell yourself the truth about what’s calling to you and the commitment to create it.

This will not be easy. You’re not going to know how it’s going to work out. It’s going to feel uncertain and scary.

But this is the most important work of your life and it is how you create the life you’re excited to wake up to every morning.

#3: Exciting and scared at the same time is your inner compass.

If something is just exciting, do it for fun. Awesome. But know that it's not growth.

If something is causing you only stress and resistance, it’s not aligned. Pause, re-evaluate, shift.

But when something is both exciting and making you nervous at the same time, that is the magic inner compass you want to follow.

That’s how you know you’re headed in the right direction. That’s how you know you’re growing and expanding.

#4: Some things you do are going to absolutely suck, and that is the point.

The purpose of many of the things you’re going to do is to help you find the thing that you really want to do.

You can’t figure that out by sitting and meditating on it or thinking about it. You have to roll up your sleeves, say yes to a bunch of stuff, and be okay with a bunch of it not working out.

You are not making mistakes. You are learning. You are getting data. You are getting closer to figuring out what it is you want to do in this world, and the only way to do that is to be okay with doing a bunch of stuff that doesn’t work.

#5: You are a being, not a doing.

You don’t have to earn love through achievements, by saying yes to others, by being in service of others.

You deserve love, especially your own love, because you are you.

Love is actually who you are.

And when you love yourself for who you are, you have so much more to give to people you care about and to the world, and you can do it from a place of fullness instead of lack.

I hope that wherever you are in your life journey, these reminders are meaningful to you.

And if they resonate, share them with a graduate in your life, whatever chapter they are graduating from.

P.S. One of the many gifts of the weekend was the moment Mia spotted me with the sign as the graduates walked through. The expression on her face.... ! She snapped this photo:

I wrote this for my daughter for her graduation